All that being happy and relieved stuff wore off, and now I just kind of migrate between melancholy and miserable. I burst into tears just from looking around my bedroom. I've been listening to sad bastard music and watching Degrassi: The Next Generation or whatever the fuck it's called all day. I can't eat. My stomach was grumbling so loudly I finally choked down some soy milk and leftover pizza, but it just made me feel more nauseous. I wore my nightgown all day; a friend is coming over to talk a bit so I just changed-- into different pajamas. I'm seriously pathetic.
While talking to my mom for like an hour and a half this morning/early afternoon (she's a therapist, it won't kill me to take advantage once in a while), I realized that I haven't been completely single, like not seeing anyone or really having any prospects at all, in over two-and-a-half years. We're talking pre-Ben, but post the first summer with Cory. I was in high school then. I was used to it. I don't know how to be a grown-up and single. I should take a class or something.